History is History. Goodbye!

As you well know Im currently sitting for the public exam now called SPM. Its the devil in disguise really what with all the last minute changes and the extremely draggy papers. To cut to the chase, today marks the end of the 2nd week. Theres still two more to go unfortunately.

So I've decided to post my rant here as theres something on my mind that really affected my concentration in todays papers. My mind just went on auto pilot and I had no idea what I was doing. It was scary. And I most definitely cannot afford to have these lingering thoughts especially now.



                                                  I got called for National Service as the First batch. And I have to report by 6 Dec. Although many people say Im lucky I got the first batch cause its selected but its During the Christmas Season. And Its Three Months. With that I'll be missing Christmas, New Years , and My Birthday. I dont want to celebrate my 18th There! How can people just not understand. I had plans. Plans to relax and have my long awaited break after this shitty exam. Plans to work part time to get the extra cash I need for further studies. My parents aren't gona support me for that. For me its more like a Burden.
And the fact that when I told my best friend about it (If you're reading this) all she did was laugh and poke fun saying its ONLY 3 months. ONLY. Its easy for you to say cause you arent the one facing all this. And where will you be my dear friend? You wont even be here thats one thing. You'd be flying all round Europe while I slaught to survive. I dont ask for much, just that you could sympathzise with me for just this time or even offer some words of comfort. But you dont know that do you?


Yet in times like these of all persons to actually ease the pain was someone I misjudged from the beginning of the year. Theres definitely more than meets the eye. He actually felt so sad he kept giving me ideas of how to escape no matter how outrageous they were. Until it came to a point he went dry of thoughts that he suggested I would meet hot guys there. That I did laugh. Its surprising and comforting that someone  I  hardly talk to would bear all my rants and complaints and still make me laugh. Sure he isnt perfect. But I think I've come to be accustomed  to our constant bickering and to call him a friend.

I couldn't stop making list of things I would be needing in my head. It's scary. I think I should write it down. Hell I don't even know if the clothes I bring would be sufficient. I have to wash them all by hand over there and there's no machine. When they mean out in the wild they really do mean out in the wild...... Now I'm worried about pads and toiletries, Oh Gawd the toilets... ergh lets not think about that now.

So I have come to accept that what must come has already came. And yea I'll go through with it for " I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me" No doubt all thanks to that someone Im kinda looking forward to meeting new people I guess.And I could use to lose some weight there. What with all the food and energy  drinks I've been taking for the exam.