The End of the Road

Have you ever looked forward to something so much that when it comes you just felt like you fell 10 feet down? Well its how Im feeling now. Its Graduation and the end of my final year as a senior. A year ago if you asked me how I felt about D Day, it would probrably be : Terrific! Awesome. Indescribable and mostly RELIVED. Let's face it, there comes a time when everyone is just too lazy to go for classes. 

But now, everything is so different. I dont even feel like a senior, and all these years I found myself waiting for something to happen, something life altering like meeting my first love before my year of graduation. Alas, that has never happened, and until now Im still waiting. I'll just be sitting in a corner thinking like : "Yea God Hey how is it up there? How long must I wait again? You said He's gona come but well....? " 

Its sad that something I've been waiting for so long hasn't even come through and Im already gona be gone. Like yeah before anything even started I already left. Is this how it's gona be next year too? Next year when I either leave to study abroad or stay on alone while everyone else leaves for their future? 

The future is so uncertain it scares me. Thinking about it sometimes brings me to tears but isnt that all part of growing up? How about I dont want to grow up? Is that possible?