Saturday, November 29, 2014 0 comments

Fairytale V.s Reality

Sure every girl has dreamt of that prince charming and Well I wouldn't deny myself that I've been looking for him too. The thing is... what if they never told us that the Prince was a player, unreliable or maybe non existent  even? Now that's something to think about.....

I came across this guy, (sure it always starts like that eh?) who practically swept me off my feet in just one night whereby it was a date with minimal mistakes with all the gentlemanly gestures and princess treatment,SURE. It felt magically romantic until at least the next 24 hours where he starts being douchie. 
 He was so keen in making it flawless I actually felt uneasy.. Cause it's like sometimes when things are too perfect they hardly seem real. It's not like I'm whining or anything, or maybe I am so what. The point is that, Its the imperfections that makes the memories last, not the perfect straight out of a dating manual date. Even a retard could do that. I hoped that well he would at least continue the conversation after that dinner but it rather seems like he's trying to play hard to get. Well I'm a girl and I sure as hell will not be wasting my efforts endlessly pining for you. I'm sorry. So it was hard getting over him even though I've tried getting over him so many times. It almost feels as if I know how to get over him more than I know about him. 

So this my lovelies are an example of the so called fairytale : they make you pine for them, looking like an idiot while they are probably out brainstorming to capture more hearts.

Then you have the real kind of guy: He likes you. And sure he tries to use his subtle ways to let you know but there's no games in it. Just simple and sweet. His friends are always there to cheer him on and you just know it that well secretly they are finding ways to help him woo you as well. He doesn't try so hard to impress. He does but, it's not like a complete different identity type of thing. He's there always ready to help, offer advices , and he lays his cards out on the table. No secrets. No hanky panky. And definitely no mysteries. 

Disney has been doing this kinda guys a lot of discredit. I mean this is the kind of guy I want. And he definitely sounds like prince material to me. 

I want a guy whos not more in love in his self than in his life. Like why can't guys these days be less vain and more modest ?! Rather than being so full of themselves they end up becoming douches. I wan a real guy. You hear that universe? No more stuffy excessively wannabe romantics. Its just urghhghhhhh
Thursday, November 27, 2014 0 comments

A glimpse Oh Happiness

 So where do I begin? Do you ever find yourself searching for something and well it just never turns up? That's how it's been for me since well as long as I can remember.

So all this while I've been hoping for Mr Darcy to fall from the sky when he was actually there and I was well as cliche as it sounds, too prejudiced to see it. Sometimes I really feel like kicking myself in the nuts, then I remember I have none. And to think I could have had this happiness the whole time rather than the doubts and emptiness hoping and wishing, waiting and wondering. I feel like such an idiot.

It was so random and unexpected that we actually went out. And after everything, I find myself asking why didnt I allow myself this sooner? So this was what I was missing all along... It felt magical and I simple cant put it into words. Cause for the first time I  actually felt like a princess. With the rain and the December air, everything was just hmmmn :)

But just when I actually found something, of course the universe has to come and interfere. This happens just when Im leaving in exactly 1 week. I was ready to go, packed my bags and all my supplies, and now... he's just the reason why I want to stay... How can I even go now? Why am I such a mess?? Oh if only I wasnt so dumb. This would be one of the things I want to change back in time.

Im scared I'd hurt leaving, then Im scared I'd hurt more when I come back if things are different. I just don't know. Why can't I have a little more of this? Just a little more for my fairytale 17 to end. I need a tissue now.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 0 comments

Published : Just One Yesterday



I recently had my article published in the school magazine and feeling like a proud mom I thought I would just share this piece with you guys. There was a few mistakes in the school magazine's version due to the editors cuts. So this is the 100% original piece. Enjoy :)


Just One Yesterday

As it’s widely known that , seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, hours then will become days to weeks months and even years.  But as for Michael , it was not to  be.

Michael or as most people call him Mike, lives in an everyday average life like most of us. The only thing difference is that for every 1 hour lived, would be converted into prolonged days, as if it was never ending. As you can see, getting past a day seems quite a task for Mike.  He wasn’t handicapped in anyway. No, Mike came into the world at exactly 7 minutes passed midnight on the eve of Christmas. He never understood why, although the thought of Christmas always made him tingly  all over and leaves his nerves jangled just before those faithful 7 minutes . Was it excitement of a mere child at the thought of Christmas or rather was it something more? For years everyone brushed it off as the latter. It was nothing they said.
Of his 17 years , Mike seemed to be a person of deep thought. Only to speak when circumstances deemed necessary. It was hard to find someone who gets his life theories. He wasn’t Einstein for sure but still, it would have been nice just to have someone to share them with. Most of his classmates found him bizarre and even a touch of hyper. It was the feeling one gets when you solve an impossible algebraic question.  But still he did serve his purpose as the class clown. There wasn’t a thing that couldn’t  make those classmates of him laugh. And in due time they learned to live with him although never really getting him.  What they didn’t know about Mike was …………. He was capable to imagine things to life.
Was it the gift of Christmas that came with Mike when he was born? It was a mystery. The  unspoken thoughts of Mike became so full till there was a clog in The System of the Universe. It needed to be voiced out or it would burst to create an alternate universe that coexist with reality, forming a worm hole in time. This is serious. But Mike didn’t know anything about it at all.  So until one fine day when The System could not contain Mike’s Gigantous thoughts anymore, yes you guessed it. It Burst.

There was a tingle in the air, that faithful morning. The very tingle Mike felt seconds before his birthday. It seemed odd, he just knew something has changed. The feeling bugged and nagged him no matter how he brushed it aside. At that very moment itself, there was a knock on the door ‘KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!’
Behold. At his front door stood a girl with exotic turnbull blue locks that swayed just by the slightest movements, and those doe like grey eyes that stared straight into one’s soul. The sight was overwhelming. Mike couldn’t believe it was real. Rather it seemed like something he would imagine only in his dreams. Unknowingly, Mike Pronounced her name ‘ Cierra’. And a force of breath hit her straight to the ground.  She was alive.

Being an average teenager, Mike had a very huge problem on his sleeves then. What is he gona tell his parents? Pulse racing, he covered Cierra with a table cloth before climbing up the stairs to his parents master bedroom. Better safe than sorry right?  To his amasement, there was no sign of them and there wasn’t even a crease on the bed! It was as if no one had set foot into the house. Just to be sure he headed straight for the kitchen.

                     Of all the unexpected things to find in the kitchen, there was a pile of growing butterscotched bread puddings, pancakes drizzled in caramel floating in mid-air, and a vanilla red velvet  milkshake with extra whipped cream  all making it’s way to a large dining table.  Was it just him or was Mike’s deepest darkest thoughts coming to life? This was going to be thrilling, or so he thought.

With a new sense of hope Mike was eager to believe it was the best day of his existence, what with everything he always wished to finally come true. It must have been the fairy godmother of thoughts that heard his prayers Mike thought aloud. Everything felt so casual and carefree he didn’t need to worry at the pedestrians judgemental looks on the way to school. “Finally. Just Finally things are turning out perfect”  Just then he remembered Cierra and that she was still under the table cloth at the bottom of the stairs. A rush of guilt washed over him until he felt someone tapping his shoulder.  To his surprise. It was her. Shocked and amazed Mike found he has dropped his jaw. Literally. And Cierra just picked it up , dusted it and placed it back like a lego piece. This was unusually bizzare. Even for Mike who holds the title of King Weird.



Sensing the now visible question marks, Cierra opened her mouth to answer Mike’s curiousity. Her voice though was so melodious, Mike ended up listening to it rather than her explainations. 
Rolling her eyes, Cierra gave another try.
“ welcome Master Mike to Blatanica. Cierra offers her outmost gratitude and greetings to her creator. Im  your best friend too tell me anything, anything at all!  “
Mike hardly believing all this just gagged and laughed .
 “What ? no way hahahaha! You? With that blue -ish hair ? Who would even trust a blue head with secrets pfft. “

 
Secretly Mike wished he could take back those words, for with every glance his approval of Cierra became stronger. Yes. Yes he would definitely trust her with his secrets. Hell, he could even trust her with his immortality. That is if he was immortal. But that’s another case. He was smitten by her and yet such perfections made it imperfectly hard to believe that someone like him could have thought up someone like her by just pure imagination.
With that Mike’s train of thought suddenly took a life of its own and went down to China, Cierra was getting impatient. She wanted acknowledgement. Acceptance. Not previews of the Great wall of China or the Forbidden city floating in front of her. If so she at least hoped it would have been Ancient Rome or even Paris.

 Cierra stomped her foot. It was after a few seconds that her left feet disappeared.  To Mike’s horror he saw colour drained from Cierra’s face. “You have to take me seriously. Not leave me hanging like that to go into another day dream! For every time you brush something as stupid or ridiculous parts of me fade away. And slowly I would disappear. You created me at the back of your head remember? LISTEN you have to believe in me.  I am real” 

Those words were enough to snap Mike back to Cierra. Although a part of her feet has already disappeared, he realised the urgency of his beliefs. Making up his mind and that time was too precious, he didn’t know till when he could pour out his heart to anyone else but Cierra. She who has known him without even existing before this, must have known him more than himself. It was a leap of faith, but he decided to take a chance. They headed to an abandoned park nearby that was closed down due to the toxic gas spill of the underground mines.  Mike finally opened his mouth to form speech
 “ Im so sorry Cierra, I was too happy. Too happy to believe that this could happen to me. It has been too long. I’ve waited and dreamt, wished and hoped every day. But nothing ever happened. It was till then that I just gave up. So you see I do believe. At least I know deep down I do. I’ve changed and evolved. I was never like this, a person who resorted to sarcasm and logic. But the ways of the world have moulded me and I fear… Im growing into it. I…… wish I could go back… but everyday, it gets stronger and it pulls me like how gravity pulls everything to the earth’s core. If only this has happened sooner, no, if only it had happened in the beginning. I cant  stop this…….” And with every word he spoke, unknowingly Cierra began to fade.
     Cierra was aware of herself.  But she said nothing to stop Mike. It was necessary for him to empty his heart out of all those emotions and unspoken theories. The System depanded on it. She couldn’t risk meeting Mike again either as it would only tear the fabric of reality and bring the apocalypse. And so she let him speak. Mike had never spoken as much in his entire existence as compared to those hours on the bench. He was so carried away, it felt like as if time stood still and yet with the ever increasing darkness of twilight, he couldn’t see Cierra, even though she still replied him in little gestures like “umms “ and “ ahhs” . Minutes flew past so much faster and it didn’t even go through the conversion to days. It was in actual minutes, that Mike found himself resting in the silence of sunrise. 

In panic he started scrambling searching for Cierra. She was probably somewhere around and he will just have to think of her and *poof* she would be there. Hysteria took over him as he forced his mind to conjure the image of Cierra. But nothing. Nothing but his throbbing veins and a migraine that over powered him. In anguish he fell to the ground, only to find a Turnbull glass mirror next to him. Turnbull. That comforting shade of blue . The only proof of Cierra’s existence or rather the only Proof of Cierra at all. Mike clutched it tightly to his chest not caring that the sharp edges cut through his flesh. As he lay there, words started forming around the glass mirror. “I will always be there among the stars”  With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mike was changed not knowing Cierra gave up her existence for The System . He wrote his emotions into music and only those who were patient could hear their secrets held within.        
 
0 comments

Freedom and other things

Hey there my beautiful people! Im happy to share that my Public exams are finally over. I cant believe how real all this is right now cause Im still trying to absorb this. It all happened too fast and yet it felt like eternity.



So with my so-so 1 week of  absolute freedom before I leave for National Service, Im gona be posting some pieces I've been working on, Feel free to read em :)
I aint gona mope about my feelings right now although I am kinda blue that I am officially done with high school cause well it's stime to enjoy whatever time I have here with you guys. Lovess
Wednesday, November 12, 2014 2 comments

History is History. Goodbye!

As you well know Im currently sitting for the public exam now called SPM. Its the devil in disguise really what with all the last minute changes and the extremely draggy papers. To cut to the chase, today marks the end of the 2nd week. Theres still two more to go unfortunately.


So I've decided to post my rant here as theres something on my mind that really affected my concentration in todays papers. My mind just went on auto pilot and I had no idea what I was doing. It was scary. And I most definitely cannot afford to have these lingering thoughts especially now.



                                                  I got called for National Service as the First batch. And I have to report by 6 Dec. Although many people say Im lucky I got the first batch cause its selected but its During the Christmas Season. And Its Three Months. With that I'll be missing Christmas, New Years , and My Birthday. I dont want to celebrate my 18th There! How can people just not understand. I had plans. Plans to relax and have my long awaited break after this shitty exam. Plans to work part time to get the extra cash I need for further studies. My parents aren't gona support me for that. For me its more like a Burden.
And the fact that when I told my best friend about it (If you're reading this) all she did was laugh and poke fun saying its ONLY 3 months. ONLY. Its easy for you to say cause you arent the one facing all this. And where will you be my dear friend? You wont even be here thats one thing. You'd be flying all round Europe while I slaught to survive. I dont ask for much, just that you could sympathzise with me for just this time or even offer some words of comfort. But you dont know that do you?


Yet in times like these of all persons to actually ease the pain was someone I misjudged from the beginning of the year. Theres definitely more than meets the eye. He actually felt so sad he kept giving me ideas of how to escape no matter how outrageous they were. Until it came to a point he went dry of thoughts that he suggested I would meet hot guys there. That I did laugh. Its surprising and comforting that someone  I  hardly talk to would bear all my rants and complaints and still make me laugh. Sure he isnt perfect. But I think I've come to be accustomed  to our constant bickering and to call him a friend.

I couldn't stop making list of things I would be needing in my head. It's scary. I think I should write it down. Hell I don't even know if the clothes I bring would be sufficient. I have to wash them all by hand over there and there's no machine. When they mean out in the wild they really do mean out in the wild...... Now I'm worried about pads and toiletries, Oh Gawd the toilets... ergh lets not think about that now.

So I have come to accept that what must come has already came. And yea I'll go through with it for " I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me" No doubt all thanks to that someone Im kinda looking forward to meeting new people I guess.And I could use to lose some weight there. What with all the food and energy  drinks I've been taking for the exam.



 
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