Just one Yesterday

I never knew the meaning behind the name of that sentence but lately it's become clearer to me. Everyone seems so sure and secure about where they are going after graduation. And they either have their parents or familiy to support them. But for me its another story.

It was a dilemma for me trying to figure out what I wanted as many of you kn
ow Im really fickle. After wasting almost a full day of life searching and life planning, apparently I still want to Write. Its the one thing that clears my mind of its infinite junk. And no Psychology is probably too taxing  for my lazy ass haha. Sides why would I wana deal with people's problems when I have enough of my own pilling itself up to Everest?

The best part of all this after all those long hours of soul searching, theres just one HUGE problem. I dont have enough funds for a full education  in mass communications( including of scholarship and A levels in a government school which usually costs less).  So another crazy idea of mine which actually sounds logical to me I call it Plan B, is that I get a course in Aviation (Stewarding as some of you might call it) which last for 3 months , work for a year and maybe come back to get my Diploma. Of course I'll be a year older with the rest of the kids but... at least I have funds right? But to every solution theres always a catch.

Not many people I know join this field of career. And word goes (From where I come from) that stewarding is a bad job. Once you join it, people would think you're either shallow, cheap, an airhead and nothing nice. I've been hearing loads of nasties about peoples opinions on this. And I know once I come back from this field, not many will look at me the same way they used to. Ultimately , the few seniors I know that join this either vanish from contact with all their friends and including social networks. Thing is, am I willing to throw that all away? My friends, families, all those memories, social networks, possible relationships, all my dreams of having a normal college life like every other teen.

Honestly not many people get out of this field once they go in which means, theres also a possiblity I can kiss my mass communication dreams goodbye  How can I say good bye to all these that have been wrapped around my heart all my life. Just when I've finally left my mark in the world, there I am knowing I am to vanish again.

Its one thing knowing you're going to dissapear, and another  wanting to dissapear. Thing is I dont want to dissapear. Not yet. It's all too fast. As Fall Out Boy goes,  I'll trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday.